I DO NOT like getting there and I hate flying. You have to get a second job to afford a plane ticket, you go through security knowing you're not a threat but panicking that you accidentally packed your full-sized lotion bottle in your carry-on, and then, willingly enter a metal tube that suspends in the air while you're crushed for space and choke down food that tastes like dehydrated rubber.
However, this time I surprisingly had a positive experience. Through luck, chance, and generous family, I flew PREMIUM Economy on Thomas Cook Airlines. Don't ask me why there's now an Economy and Premium Economy. A good metaphor for it, probably, is buying an Express Pass at Universal instead of having to wait in the heat-coma inducing heat like the rest of the Plebeians. You get treated like a human instead of cattle for just a few hundred dollars more.
The first thing I noticed when I sat in my [AISLE!!!!!] seat was that my knees didn't immediately touch the seat in front of me. I had so much room I could have put my bursting-full-to-the-brim carry-on in front of me. After I picked up my complimentary copy of Vogue, I saw FREE STUFF! Nestling on top of the fleece blanket and pillow was a toiletry bag. Inside was a pair of incredibly soft socks, an eye mask, earplugs, travel-size toothbrush and toothpaste, and full-sized lip balm that smelled like coconut.
After I looked through everything I settled down to wait for takeoff. I didn't have to wait sober, for a wonderful gentleman came by with a choice of orange juice or sparkling wine. Since I am an adult I chose the wine, even though I hate the taste of alcohol, but I was flying Premium and deserved libations dammit!
The rest of the flight was almost as positive. There was a slight hiccup when right after I got my soda I knocked it over and spilled the almost full cup all over the floor. Luckily, no one sat in the seat next to me [yeah, I had both seats all to myself] so I was able to sop up the mess with the dozens of paper towels I got from the bathroom. Oh yeah, when you're in Premium you never have to wait for the bathroom. Heaven.
I should mention the food. Look, it's airplane food. It's never going to be fantastic. However, I wasn't disparaged. The chicken was decent and I got red potatoes, fruit and cheese, and a freaking cheesecake for dessert [it was delicious]. Breakfast was a simple vending-machine muffin and yogurt, but I also got a fresh-toasted chocolate croissant, which basically made the breakfast totally worth it. The stewardesses were also amazing and it was the first flight where I didn't gasp from thirst since I could always get a bottle of water from them. The rest of the trip I watched "How to Be Single" and "The Other Woman." I can never sleep on flights, and this was no exception, but I was able to close my eyes for some time while I listened to Adele's "25." When it was time to leave the plane, I almost felt sad, a stark contrast to my usual desperate urge to run off.
Overall, this trip established to me that life would be pretty good if I could afford this regularly. And that if I ever by miracle of miracles flew first class, I would probably pass out from the extravagance.
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| My seat with all my glorious leg room. |
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| Free Stuff!!!!! |
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| CHEESECAKE and dinner. [The roll was super warm and delicious.] |
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| Eh, breakfast. The croissant was long gone. |
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