Even though my parents are German I was born in the U.S. and still consider our place in Florida as home. I've been in Europe for about three months now and I'm experiencing pretty strong homesickness and cravings for things I just don't have here. Overall I'm still happy that I have this great opportunity to be in Europe, but that doesn't mean the adjustment hasn't been hard.
- Chipotle: Okay, look, I know what you're probably thinking. "You're in Europe, land of Gourmet food! Why would you be craving American fast food?" Of course I'm thrilled with my food choices in Europe, which are often 10x the quality of food in the U.S. But I am craving Chipotle Guac so hard. It all started when I made myself some guacamole. The whole time I was eating it I was thinking, "This is trash compared to Chipotle." I also miss anything Tex-Mex related, which DOES NOT EXIST HERE. I've really been considering buying a plane ticket just to get a Chipotle veggie bowl with whole wheat rice, black beans, corn salsa, mild salsa, lettuce, cheese, and GUAC!!!!
- English: I'm surprised by this, but I miss hearing English being spoken on a regular basis. This is something you don't realize you'd miss until it's gone. I love learning languages and I'm glad of the opportunity to improve my German, but I miss speaking without stumbling over my words. And Swiss German sounds so different to regular German for me that I can't even associate it with nostalgia of my family. I often watch the British TV channels in order to hear TV shows spoken without German dubbing.
- Staying Hydrated in a Restaurant: Look, I get that it's limiting waste and probably better off for the environment in the long run, a way for people to earn a living, blah, blah, blah. But for the love of God, can't I just have a free refill??? I'm so sick of having to budget my money for eating out mainly based on how many drinks I think I'll need. I also miss my free water. Why is it more expensive than a beer??? And people in Europe, I'm not a freak for wanting ice in my drink. It's fine.
- My Family: I'm blessed to have a family that I love. It's just not the same Skyping instead of seeing them in person. Especially my sibling. I even miss them annoying the crap out of me. Who'd have thought it?
- My Friends: Similar to above but this section is more nuanced. I miss seeing my friends and hanging out with them so bad if I think about it too much I'll start crying. Socially, I'm on my own here, which is difficult for me. I'm someone who needs to have a group of people around me as a source of comfort and happiness. I'm also an introvert and meeting new people not only drains me mentally and physically but also causes me a great deal of anxiety. Ideally, I'd have someone by my side helping me out with socially navigating a new world, but when you're traveling on your own you don't have those resources. And asking someone for help hasn't gone that well. First, people usually tell me that I have to get used to navigating the world on my own so when I ask for help they seem to think I'm asking them to hold my hand. That's not the case. I love being independent, and when my anxiety and past experiences with people doesn't tear my self-confidence to shreds, I love doing things on my own. Unfortunately, I've had a really hard time socializing. And when I know a person is skeptical of my anxiety, I'm not going to ask them further for help. I can't mentally or physically deal with that attitude or opinion towards me. The next section is connected to this.
- Therapy: I've been diagnosed by multiple doctors with generalized and severe social anxiety, accompanied with depression. Without social support and current access to therapy, I'm in a rough mental state right now. And the worse my anxiety and depression get, the less I have the desire to ask for help. It's great being in Europe, but it's hard being here alone when my mental state isn't that great.
That got deep for the end but it's a large part of what I've been dealing with by adjusting to living in Europe on my own. I have a host family right now, but I either fail to see it or am not having the support I need right now. And it's exhausting to keep on asking for it when you feel that you're annoying people or their solution is to tell me to not let myself get mentally overwhelmed. Like, that'd be great if it was that easy.
What do you guys miss the most when you're traveling or have moved somewhere new? If you've done it while dealing with anxiety and/or depression, do you have tips for me?
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